For two nights, my housemate and I have done battle with what can only be described as Mothra... two of them. The first night saw one of these hummingbird-sized bastards fly through the netted tiny windows in the kitchen to interrupt our talk (he had just come back from his World Cup adventure). This was huge, fast, and agile. I had hoped, prior to Kane moving in, that he'd be a bigger man than I in terms of insects... it appears not. It was I that grabbed a weapon... a teatowel and attempted to whip the git. Eventually he made a fatal mistake and dove into cover behind a chair where there was a broom. Lifting the broom, I hit it, but it kept on going, this time unable to stay aloft long. It was clear I had fatally wounded it, now I had to deliver the mercy blow. Because it was flitting around still, I decided to ask for the help of Mr Sheen... who delivered a Springfresh paralysing blow to Mothra. Then I collected about 6-7 sheets of kitchen roll and crushed it, feeling its large body give and smearing moth blood along the floor. He was vanquished.


It appears he had a brother or son that wanted revenge. No doubt after a lengthy training montage under a wise Master, he entered the house. His large flapping wings caught Kane's attention and he set a trap: he bravely switched off his light and put the light on in the corridor to draw Mothra II away, and then... he did nothing... Correction: he texted me to tell me about Mothra II's presence in the corridor. So it was I who ventured out of my room to search for him armed only with a copy of Keiko's Cosmopolitan - the one with Michelle Rodriguez on the front, and 'Orgasms Unlimited' (some new girl group?). No sign in the corridor... I continued on. No sign on the upper stairs, nor the kitchen. I picked up Mr Sheen and moved down to the lower stairs and into the makeshift genkan... still not there. Finally I ventured back upstairs and checked the toilet, while Kane came to check if the coast was clear. Even after several more checks, Mothra II cannot be found... The stealthy flying ninja obviously awaits our slumber... Kane better beware, I think he's sleeping now...